If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
