Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
