Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
