who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Randomize
