so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
