did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize