He uses pillows to masturbate.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize