It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
