yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
