There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
