Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize