Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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