wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My vagina is officially offended.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm always down for nudity.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
