i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
he just fucked me for my cheese.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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