why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Randomize
