I can't breathe out the right side of my face
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
