a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
