His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
