We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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