This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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