Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
