Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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