Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
