i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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