dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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