What a fucking waste of an outfit
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
