don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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