Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
