My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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