yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
