it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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