their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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