YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
