Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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