i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
