dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
