My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
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We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
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We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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