The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
