I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
