oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
