PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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