are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
