I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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