just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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