he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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