Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
