I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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