nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
