Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
