Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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