what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
