shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
