fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
