Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
