just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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