so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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