Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
