Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
