my sisters under your porch take her home
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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