Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
