His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
