he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
im on a boat
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