Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Still dying that you shit outside
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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