I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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