Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
