so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
