where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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