I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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