My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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