I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
