I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
