went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she peed on how many people?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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