Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
